What Are Infidelity and Betrayal, and How Do They Show Up?

Infidelity and betrayal don’t just break trust, they shake the foundation of safety, identity, and attachment in a relationship.

Betrayal can include:

  • Emotional or physical affairs

  • Secretive behaviours, lying, or hidden communication

  • Boundary violations that break the agreed-upon trust

  • Discovering information that changes how you see your partner or relationship

After betrayal, many people experience:

  • Shock, disbelief, or emotional numbness

  • Intense anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or hypervigilance

  • Anger, grief, confusion, and self-doubt

  • Loss of trust, not just in a partner, but in yourself

  • Feeling torn between wanting closeness and wanting to pull away

For the partner who betrayed trust, there may also be:

  • Deep shame, guilt, and fear of loss

  • Difficulty understanding their own behaviour

  • Feeling overwhelmed, defensive, or unsure how to repair the damage

Betrayal creates pain on both sides, and it doesn’t mean the relationship is beyond repair.

How Therapy Helps with Infidelity and Betrayal

Therapy provides a structured, emotionally safe space to slow things down and begin repairing what feels broken.

In therapy, we work to:

  • Stabilize intense emotions and reduce reactivity

  • Create safety so that difficult conversations can happen without further harm

  • Understand what happened without minimizing the pain

  • Support accountability, transparency, and empathy

  • Rebuild trust intentionally, not through pressure or time alone

  • Help each partner decide, clearly and honestly, what they need moving forward

Healing is not about forgetting or “moving on.” It’s about making sense of the rupture and deciding how to move forward with integrity.

What Interventions Might Be Used?

Infidelity work is delicate and requires intention, pacing, and structure.

Depending on your situation, therapy may include:

  • Guided conversations to process the betrayal safely

  • Emotion-focused interventions to repair attachment injuries

  • Boundary clarification and trust-rebuilding agreements

  • Support for accountability and responsibility without shaming

  • Individual processing within couples therapy when needed

  • Tools for managing triggers, flashbacks, and emotional overwhelm

The work is paced carefully, honoring both partners’ nervous systems and emotional limits.

How can I book a session?

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